How to keep your New Years’ Resolutions… and why they’re a terrible idea.
As we approach the time for NYE, let's delve into the concept of accountability.
For me, a professional with ADHD, being accountable is a daily consideration. Additionally, as a manager, holding my team accountable is a significant part of my role. But what does accountability really entail? And how does it differ for neurodiverse and neurotypical individuals?
To start, let's address why we often struggle to accomplish the things we genuinely want to do. The simple truth is that we're not machines; we're human beings with complex lives. Numerous factors influence our ability to follow through on our intentions, such as personality, culture, past experiences, and more. There's also a pervasive myth that we "should" effortlessly complete everything, and if we don't, it's a personal failure. We'll explore the use of "should" shortly.
Being diagnosed with ADHD in my thirties allowed me to compare my life and productivity before and after. Surprisingly, many of the tools that work specifically for ADHD adults can benefit everyone. Here are some practical tips for setting and achieving goals:
1. Begin on a Positive Note:
New Year's Resolutions often set us up to believe that something needs to change, implying that we're not good enough as we are. Focusing on your perceived shortcomings is a surefire way to set yourself up for failure. Think about it this way: when a friend or colleague seeks advice and starts with self-criticism, would you agree with them or highlight their strengths to support them? You'd likely choose the latter. Extend the same kindness to yourself.
2. Focus on the "Why":
This step is crucial for both neurotypical and neurodivergent individuals, but it holds exceptional importance for the neurodiverse community. Imagine your boss asks you to bring a blue umbrella to work next week. What's your immediate question? Most likely, it's "Why?" Understanding the "why" behind a task is essential for motivation and memory retention. The same principle applies to personal goals. Ask yourself why you want to get fitter or save more money. Without a clear "why," it's unlikely to happen, no matter how much you think it "should." This also applies when holding someone else accountable; allow room for questions.
3. Timing Matters:
Once you've clarified the "why," consider the "when." Sustainable change is challenging, and setting unattainable short-term goals can be even more daunting. Give yourself permission to work towards a goal gradually. While it may be tempting to overhaul your life on January 1st, we know that's often unsustainable. Instead, set a goal for six months or a year and break it down into smaller, more achievable checkpoints. Remember, missing a short-term goal doesn't mean failing at your main objective.
4. Define the "How":
Motivation in early January might make you feel invincible, but that enthusiasm can wane. Asking yourself how you plan to achieve your goal can help sustain your motivation. Visualise the person you'll become when you've accomplished your goal. Imagine the emotions and personal growth. Focus on how you'll feel, not just on superficial outcomes like a target weight.
5. You Are Your Best Supervisor:
Despite the buzz around "accountability buddies," relying on someone else to hold you responsible can have drawbacks. When you outsource responsibility, your goal becomes their problem, and your achievements aren't entirely yours. Self-accountability is a powerful motivator.
In conclusion, accountability is a personal journey. By understanding the "why," setting realistic timelines, and visualising your transformation, you can become your best source of accountability. Embrace the new year as an opportunity for positive change and self-growth.