Dutch Uncle: Stop Feeding the RSD Monster: The No-Nonsense Guide to Actually Managing Rejection Sensitivity

Because Yesterday's 3,000-Word Validation Festival Isn't Actually Helping You

Right, yesterday I gave you the soft-touch version. All the validation, all the “you’re not alone,” all the gentle DBT strategies wrapped in understanding. And you know what? You probably felt better for about five minutes before your brain went straight back to catastrophising about that colleague who didn’t smile at you this morning.

Time for the truth.

Your RSD Isn’t Special (And That’s Good News)

Every ADHD brain does this. You’re not uniquely broken. You’re not more sensitive than everyone else. Your nervous system is having the neurological equivalent of a toddler tantrum because it thinks social rejection equals death. It’s evolutionary wiring gone haywire, not some deep insight into your fundamental unworthability.

The research is clear: RSD is just your amygdala hijacking your prefrontal cortex. Dr. William Dodson’s work shows it’s a neurological glitch, not an personality trait. Stop romanticising it.

The Only DBT Skills You Actually Need

Forget the acronyms. Forget the worksheets. When RSD hits, you need exactly three things:

1. Biological Override Mammalian dive reflex. Face in ice water. Full stop. Your amygdala literally cannot maintain panic when you’re in cold shock. This isn’t therapy; it’s biology. Recent research from neuroscientist Andrew Huberman confirms: cold exposure immediately downregulates your stress response.

2. Physical Discharge Your body is flooded with adrenaline and cortisol. You can’t think your way out of stress hormones. Sprint. Do burpees. Shake like a dog. Complete the stress cycle, as Emily and Amelia Nagoski outline in their research. Movement isn’t optional; it’s mandatory.

3. Time Lock 24-hour decision ban. No texts. No emails. No Instagram stalking. No “clearing the air” conversations. Your prefrontal cortex is offline for at least 90 minutes during RSD (that’s neuroscience, not opinion). Any decision you make is coming from your lizard brain.

The “Coping Strategies” That Are Making It Worse

Your “Evidence I’m Loved” Screenshot Folder Delete it. Now. You’re training your brain to need external proof of worth. Every time you check it, you’re reinforcing that other people’s opinions determine your value. That’s not emotional regulation; it’s outsourced identity.